{My Ex John Mayer}

Okay, so I obviously didn’t actually date John Mayer. But my ex looks like him & is triple the douche. After last months I basically am in love with you and last weeks super awkward run in at the bar which resulted into a super drunk me. I tried to cut off contact with John, which I’ll admit I could of done a lot better but I drink and I text and well here we are.

So this weekend I was out getting my drunk on and while I was waiting in line for my McDonald’s I guess I thought let’s text John Mayer, well 50$ cab ride later, I was resisting the urge to be the clingy overly attached girl I was. (Okay, still am) I basically tried to act like I didn’t give a shit when I only wanted to cuddle and be with him. I was good. (Everyone do a shot!)

That’s what I hate about men, they make you think they’ve changed and they don’t. Even in my drunken state I managed to comprehend this. I declined an invite to his birthday on Wednesday or Thursday I don’t remember. I might show up looking hot as hell though. Whatever.

So John Mayer has obviously clued into the fact that I’m over him.* Mr. Mayer was telling me how much he missed me and was glad I wasn’t leaving in January. But of course if I texted him asking to do something we would be right back to square one.

To quote the actual John Mayer


Basically, I’m Taylor in this whole thing when I need to be Jen Aniston. Excuse me. I need a re-vamp.

* really good at pretending.

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